its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
