There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
