I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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