literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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