So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
