I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
