so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
