Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
