Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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