it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
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