I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
