At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
