after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
