I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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