Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
