You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
