What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
