are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
