Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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