We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Randomize
