do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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