alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
