So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
