Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
