we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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