I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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