I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
