no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
