I smell stomach acid.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
