I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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