Define "chronic" masturbator.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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