im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
