@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
