i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
