let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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