I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
