I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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