So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
40s are totally the cure
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
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