Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
