i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
