i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am spending my child support on dildos
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
