You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
