Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
