i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
