Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
