My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
