Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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