That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
