I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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