literally had 100 drinks last night.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
