is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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