How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
