I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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