Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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