My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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