In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize