One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
