I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
