the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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