The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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