She is in my trunk
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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