You just made me feel so damn special
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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