What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
