I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
