Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
