Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
