I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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