I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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