It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm getting married
To pizza
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
