Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Even my vagina gasped.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
